When relationships go wrong couples therapy can help

Relationships and our sense of self

Relationships are one of the most important things in a person’s life. Yet all relationships reach a difficult phase at some point. This is where couples therapy can really help.

As human beings, a sense of connection is one of the ‘fruits’ of a happy life, vitally important to our happiness.

We need connection

No matter how much we might try to kid ourselves that we want to be alone, we need contact and connection for our very survival.

We’re made to be able to be happy, in an imperfect world, that is endlessly unfolding, and we on earth are the local agents of that cosmological unfolding“

~ Al Pesso

From the moment we are born it is only in relationship with other human beings that we develop our sense of self. Through moment by moment reciprocated interactions – verbal, visual, visceral – with parents, particularly the mother, we develop our ego and our sense of who we are. Throughout our entire lives, good relationships are integral to our successful sense of self.

When relationships go wrong

However, when relationships aren’t working it is painful. Regardless of whether this is friendships, romantic, or work relationships, it can lead to feelings of loss, despair, hurt, alienation, frustration and more when they go wrong. It can even mean that we learn to avoid relationships, but that too fails to make us happier.

Present consciousness is a tapestry woven from the threads of memory

~ Al Pesso

Couples therapy can help

Counselling and psychotherapy can help us to see how difficult past relationships, often those earliest in our life, can have a negative impact on our present relationships. And talking about issues helps us to make connections and develop awareness so that we have more choice and control in healthy, fulfilling relationships.

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